I was wrong, oh, so wrong. As the good folks at Box Office Mojo demonstrate, “Prom Night” seriously outperformed the last non-pre-screened horror film, “The Ruins” and grabbed up some $22.7 million over the weekend, perhaps partially aided by the unseasonably hot weather out here on the west to some degree. In any case, audiences didn’t seem to hold a spate of recent PG-13 horror remakes against “Prom Night” — presumably because it wasn’t based on a Japanese ghost story from the last few years, but an R-rated American slasher film from when Jamie Lee Curtis was playing teenagers. “Street Kings,” on the other hand, soaked up an anemic $12 million, just barely edging out “21,” which continues to perform so well at a healthy $11 million that I feel not quite insane in my suggestion that it actually had a shot at winning this rather lame weekend. At least “21″ appears to have an interesting story, so the world might not be ending, even if the weather makes it feel as if it is. As for the indies, the drama “The Visitor” opened strong with a $22,000 per screen average in four theaters. The senior-centric comedic documentary “Young@Heart” opened with a reasonably spry, if not quite exuberant, $13,000 average in the same number of theaters. Kind of an uninspiring week all around, but next week promises to be a bit more fun, with a buzzworthy new release from the Judd Apatow gag-factory and with a cinematic summit meeting of martial arts titans Jet Li and Jackie Chan. Let’s hope there’s not a whole lot of CGI action. I don’t think martial arts fans are wanting another “Bullet Proof Monk.” Filed under: Actors and Actresses and News and Movie Comedies and Movie Dramas and Horror Movies Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
So, once again, my optimistic world view is crushed. 
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A sorry weekend seems to be in store at America’s mainstream mansions of mass entertainment this week. So sorry, in fact, that a movie nobody seems to particularly care for, the youth-oriented gambling drama, “21,” has a chance of staying at the #1 spot for a third week, but more likely not. Also, an unusually strong supporting cast would seem to help, including a couple of personal favorites — Oscar winner (and fellow Daniel Webster Junior High alum) Forrest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie (”House” to most, charming twit Bertie Wooster and ultra-twit Prince Regent from “Blackadder” to BBC America fans and me), plus Jay Mohr and Cedric the Entertainer, who just seem to make sense in this context…I’d love to hear those guys enunciating some of Ellroy’s poetic, blood-spattered profanity. But, with his original screenplay rewritten by two other credited writers, the reviews are not discussing dialogue that snaps, crackles and pops like it comes from Satan’s own furnace, just another average-to-below-average violence-packed thriller that, at least, doesn’t sound like it’s extremely boring. The bar is set awfully low right now, and this one might just jump over it. * But the smart money at both Variety and the Hollywood Reporter says I’m wrong about “Street Kings.” (Okay, I’m not all that smart and if I was into money, do you think I’d be doing this?) It’s entirely likely this weekend will be won by another in a recent string of review-protected horror flicks, this one a remake of a a movie that wasn’t all that much liked the first time around, “Prom Night.” (The original was a “Halloween” follow-up with Jamie Lee Curtis and Leslie Nielson back when people thought he took this stuff seriously.) The trick here is that this a slasher film that’s rated PG-13, which strikes me as a bit wrong, like showing the pre-sex intros from a gonzo porn film to twelve year boys. Still, while “wrong” often works in show bidness, there has been a glut of horror, both PG-13 and R, lately. Without some real buzz behind it, “Prom Night” may pleasantly disappoint. In fact, the reviews, can get pretty negative, but one did remind me of a grammatical fine point I’d become hazy on. Here’s what Rick Groen of Canada’s Globe and Mail said:
I’m embarrassed to admit this took me a second. Yes, it’s not “I’ll loan you the money.” It’s “I’ll lend you the money.” After all, the soon to be Hamlet-stabbed Polonius didn’t advise Laertes, “Neither a borrower nor a loaner be.” A good reminder.
Meanwhile in Indiewood….I’m happy to say, things are looking much more interesting on the arthouse side of things this week. The big indie this week may be “The Visitor,” the new film from writer-director Tom McCarthy — creator of the 2003 Sundance hit, “The Station Agent,” which made Peter Dinklage a household name…well, assuming your household is in Santa Monica or Tribeca. Anyhow, when I went to Sundance with a bunch of critics for another website, one of my cohorts reported writing the phrase “unlikely friendship” in four separate reviews. And so, like its predecessor, “The Visitor” is a star-free tale of an unlikely friendship, this time between an depressed professor and a young immigrant couple. On the strength of McCarthy’s prior film, I’m wiling to say this one is worth a look and may do some decent business with older filmgoers seeking gentle but smart fair. Other than that, most of the action is on the documentary front. By far the most high profile doc with solid critical buzz is “Young@Heart,” about a senior citizen’s chorus dealing with a repertoire that includes the words of Sonic Youth, the Clash, James Brown, and Coldplay. Speaking of buzz, but showing up in only four theaters, is “Super High Me,” a film which takes pothead comedian Doug Benson and gives him the Morgan Spurlock treatment. Aside from appearances by such comic luminaries as Sarah Silverman, Bob Odenkirk, and Patton Oswalt, I’m mentioning this one because it’s directed by a guy who played the straight man in this great comedy short a few years back. I maybe shouldn’t, because it’s only playing at New York’s Film Forum, but I can’t resist bringing up the mega-Freudian documentary “Stalags,” about pornographic Israeli novels, which started popping up during the 1961 trial of German Holocaust planner Adolph Eichmann. The subject of this porn: Nazi she-wolves administering what we’d now call “enhanced interrogation techniques” (nudge nudge wink wink) to brave British and American soldiers. Let me repeat, these books were written and consumed by Israelis. I’m also plugging the well-reviewed documentary “Bra Boys,” about Australian surfing hooligans. If I don’t, narrator Russell Crowe might beat the crap out of me. Filed under: Actors and Actresses and News and Reviews and Movie Comedies and Movie Dramas and Horror Movies and Action Movies and Documentaries and External Movies Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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It’s the second week of this little experiment in Thursday evening/Friday morning film quarterbacking. And there’s no time to be wasted….Or maybe there is. That’s because, whatever else may be true, with the possible exception of one exciting experiment in larger than life rock and roll and an art-house experiment with children’s attention spans, this weekend does not look to be anything for the history books.
On the other hand, Clooney’s attempt at true screwball has received mediocre reviews – surprising considering that the third-time director is something of a critical darling, given his last film was “Good Night and Good Luck,” but then neither that film nor Clooney’s directing debut, “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind” showed anything like a light touch, and he’s playing in a field where giants like Howard Hawks, Ernst Lubitsch, Preston Sturges, and lots of other dead guys you’ve never heard of once roamed. Still, given the star power and the simple date-movie compromise premise, this one seems destined to do reasonable to good business. Variety thinks it’ll be #1. Not proof, of course, but to quote history’s most famous sportswriter, Damon Runyon: “The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that’s the way to bet.”
* And, who knows, it’s in more theaters than “Leatherheads” and this week’s entry in the unscreened for critics horror sweeptakes, “The Ruins” could pull an upset…but I doubt it. It feels as if I’ve been suffering through the trailers since the Carter Administration. And my hunch is this film from nature photographer-turned-first-time-director Carter Smith and author/screenwriter Scott B. Smith (the Smith Brothers?) didn’t look anything other than oddly disgusting — yet also sort of dull. The often easy-to-please Box Office Mojo readers seem none too excited about this one and the vibe is getting is that it’s probably too soft for today’s masochistic young fans of extreme horror, while, at least as per its promotion, it’s too harsh and uninviting for everyone else. The one interesting wrinkle — Scott Smith is the ultra-lauded writer of both the screenplay and original novel behind 1998’s outstanding “A Simple Plan.” Maybe it’s not quite as bad as looks, but maybe it’s worse. *That’s pretty much it for the week’s major release — unless you count the 273 largely IMAX screen release “Shine a Light,” Martin Scorsese’s first concert film since 1978’s near-perfect “The Last Waltz,” starring none other The Rolling Stones, still freaky — actually freakier — after all these years. The critics dig it. Bill Clinton apparently digs it, and shows up onscreen, and Hillary has praised the Stones recently, but no word yet on whether she remembers nearly being stabbed by Hell’s Angels at Altamont. But seriously, this is the release I’m most looking forward to checking out this week, even if the answer to the big question asked in a million dorm rooms is, of course, “The Beatles.”
Bring the kids! Bring sedatives! But seriously folks, I’ve missed Hsia-hsien’s other films, but this one appears to be a pretty intriguing take on the classic 1956 French short, “The Red Balloon,” that was frequently trotted out on 16mm at my elementary school. Also it’s got Juliette Binoche — and you never know what’s going to grab the little ones. If you want real contemplative cinema for kids, try watching an old episode of “Thunderbird” sometime. And Sophia Coppola’s favorite Hong Kong slow-mo romantic, Wong Kar Wai, makes his American debut and gets a mixed response with “My Blueberry Nights.” Personally, I haven’t been a big fan of even for the HK maverick’s most lauded films, “In the Mood for Love” or “Chungking Express” but he does know how to craft some truly stunning imagery, and with cast that includes Rachel Weisz, Natalie Portman, and, making her film debut in the lead role, singing/piano playing sensation Norah Jones, there’s be plenty to look at, with Jude Law on hand for the ladies and David Strathairn challenging the Kar Wai aesthetic with his good-acting nonbeauty. Also opening this week in limited release is a highly praised Israeli film anthology film, “Jellyfish” and the poorly received, and poorly titled black comedy from Daniel Waters (”Heathers”) “Sex and Death 101“. The film stars Winona Ryder, who I always appreciate (really), and Simon Baker — who I’m glad as on hand because his presence, and the release of the Scorsese-directed “Shine a Light” gives me the excuse to close with this mini-classic, which made the rounds last fall…The greatest ever Alfred Hithcock tribute that’s also a mockumentary, and a sparkling wine commercial. Directed by M. Scorsese and starring Marty and Baker. Filed under: Actors and Actresses and Movie Comedies and Movie Dramas and Horror Movies and External Entertainment and External Movies Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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I think I would have preferred that the DHL carrier just punched me in the face rather than deliver this to me.
“Witless Protection,” in theaters February 22. It is your civic duty to make sure this movie makes as little money as possible. Filed under: Movies and Actors and Humor and Movie Comedies and Horror Movies and Scare of the Day Comments: 1 Comment Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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Probably not, given that there’s only one film from prior to the ’80s (and the line they’ve cited is, while a little cheesy, still one of the most immortal in cinematic history), but if you’re curious to see EW’s personal favorites, you can find there right here. I don’t agree with all of them - I actually quite like some of the lines they’ve called out as being awful - but I sure as hell agree wholeheartedly with at least this one: “You know what happens when a toad gets struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.'’ Recognize it…? Filed under: Movies and Humor and Movie Comedies and Movie Dramas and Horror Movies and Action Movies and External Entertainment and External Movies Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
 You probably know Rory Cochrane, even if you don’t think you do. His longest and most high-profile gig was serving as a member of the “CSI: Miami” team as Tim Speedle, but prior to that, he’d already earned the status of cult icon by playing the stoned-as-shit Slater in “Dazed and Confused,” as well as the monetarily-challenged Lucas in “Empire Records.” Since departing “CSI: Miami” of his own free will, Cochrane has kept busy with the occasional film; we spoke to him on the occasion of the DVD release of the disconcertingly-real thriller, “Right At Your Door,” and we took the opportunity to ask him about how much of a toll the filming of the movie took on him, why he left a sweet gig on a weekly TV series, and…well, frankly, we spent most of the time just trying to get him to give us answers of more than a word or two. (Nice guy, that Rory, but not one to give you essay-length responses.)
Rory Cochrane: Hello? Bullz-Eye: Hi, may I speak to Rory? RC: Yes. BE: Hey, this is Will. RC: How are you doing, Will? BE: Pretty good. How are you? RC: All right. BE: Actually, I tried you a few minutes ago, but I figured you were still on the last interview maybe, RC: Oh, yeah? I didn’t hear it beep. BE: Not a problem. So…”Right at Your Door.” Very intense flick. I hadn’t actually seen it until they sent me the DVD – it never played in my area – but it’s great. RC: Oh, well, I’m glad you liked it. BE: Definitely. It’s part disaster movie, part horror movie, with a thread of romance running through it. How was it to shoot? RC: Very grueling…and intense, you know? I’m sort of glad that it was only…that we shot it in twenty days. Which is a good thing, because I would probably have had to check myself into some sort of institution afterwards if it had went any longer. BE: Yeah, it’s a little dark. RC: Yeah. BE: How did you get involved in it in the first place? Filed under: Movies and Movie DVDs and Actors and Interviews and Reviews and Movie Dramas and Horror Movies and Action Movies and External Entertainment and External Movies and External Movie DVDs Comments: 1 Comment Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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I’ve never been a real hardcore video game addict…well, not for any extended period of time, anyway. I had my fair share of obsessions once in awhile – first the arcade, then my trusty Intellivision, followed by brief stints with Nintendo and Xbox – but none of those lasted more than a few months before they were set aside. Kids today, though, they’re downright obsessed with the gaming, so when I first heard about the Starz documentary, “Hollywood Goes Gaming,” I thought, “Oh, man, this is totally not gonna hold my interest.”
I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was way better than I ever expected, offering a nicely done retrospective of the history of video games becoming movies and vice versa. For instance, Stephen Linsberg, writer / director of “Tron,” bemoans the fact that his film didn’t even receive an Academy Award for Best Special Effects, then admits that, at the time, the industry felt that he’d “cheated” by using computers for his effects. It’s amusing that the doc launches from its discussion of “Tron” and how Mattel licensed the film for a video game, then fast-forwards to the present and observes how it’s a given that a film will have a video-game tie-in nowadays, using “Surf’s Up” as an example. Why’s that amusing? Both films start Jeff Bridges! Would you believe there was once a licensing battle for a “Kramer vs. Kramer” video game? True. Everybody wanted a piece of the video game action, but the most enjoyable discussion here comes via archival interview footage with Spielberg about the legendarily bad “E.T.” video game for Atari, then cuts to current interview with a fellow who used to work for Atari, who says that Spielberg saw the test version of the game and said, “Gee, couldn’t you do something more like ‘Pac-Man’?” “And I thought, well, gee, couldn’t you do something more like ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’”? All snark aside, the game was such a colossal failure that Atari ended up with so many leftover copies that they buried a ton of them in a Mexican landfill. (I always thought that was an apocryphal story, but if so, Atari’s amused enough by it to claim it’s true.) There’s also a nice bit about “Dragon’s Lair,” including an interview with creator Don Bluth (alas, the follow-up game, “Space Ace,” gets no love), along with an almost apologetic sequence about the “Super Mario Brothers.” From there, it’s onto the triple threat of the “Double Dragon,” “Street Fighter,” and “Mortal Kombat” flicks. Inevitably, there’s conversation with Uwe Boll and Paul WS Anderson, with the latter proving the most entertaining. (I had no idea that, in answer to his critics, he offered to meet them in a boxing ring and fight them!) Clive Barker chimes in on his experiences in the industry, including his work on his own game, “Jericho,” and, of course, Shia LaBeouf gets interviewed because he’s the Michael Caine of his era, showing up in just about everything, though he looks like he was caught in the middle of a press tour, however, rather than having sat down for his interview like everyone else. Kudos to Starz for these documentaries of theirs. They’re really doing a nice job of providing historical context rather than just having a bunch of talking heads blather on; in this case, we’re treated to interviews with the founders of Atari and Electronic Arts, the guys who were on the front lines of all these goings-on. Makes for a lot more interesting perspective than, say, a movie critic talking about how bad “Double Dragon” was. Filed under: Movies and TV and Movie DVDs and Actors and Actresses and Reviews and Movie Dramas and Horror Movies and Action Movies and Documentaries and External Entertainment and External Movies and External TV and External Movie DVDs and Doc of the Day Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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It’s a long scary day ’round my place, as I celebrate the final Scare of the Day for October by working my way through MGM’s awesome new box dedicated to that legendary scare-master, Vincent Price. I’ve actually been tackling one or two of these films as I’ve had the time, but I wanted to make sure they were all knocked out by the end of the day, so rather than wait ’til the wee hours to get this thing posted, I’m just going to update it as I go. I’ll make the acknowledgment right off the bat, however, that this is no way intended to be a comprehensive collection of all things Price; in fact, without even trying, I can think of half a dozen other horror films on his resume which are part of MGM’s Midnite Movies catalog. Does that mean we’ll get a “Volume 2″ come next Halloween…? We can only hope. Tales of Terror - Price found himself in the midst of Edgar Allan Poe adaptations plenty of times within his career, but few are more enjoyable than this trio of tales, directed and produced by the inestimable Roger Corman.
Though he’s teamed with Peter Lorre and Basil Rathbone in the second and third segments, respectively, it’s in the first – “Morella” – where Price is truly the star. He plays Locke, a man who has spent decades mourning the death of his wife, who died in childbirth. When Lenora, the child in question, returns home after an absence of many years, she’s shocked to find the family mansion in disarray and her father but a shadow of the man he once was; of course, she’s even more shocked when she finds that Daddy’s been keeping the decomposing corpse of Mommy lying around for all this time. Somehow, father and daughter manage to reconcile, but in the end, it’s Moms who gets the last laugh. The best of the three segments is unquestionably “The Black Cat,” which finds Lorre taking the lead role as Montresor Herringbone, a drunken lout who proves that just because you’re a drunk and a lout doesn’t mean you can’t be a clever – and deadly – son of a bitch. The entire story is played far more for laughs than horror, but the final shot is gleefully gruesome. Lorre goes all out with his drunk routine, though he probably had little choice in the matter if he wanted to match Price’s vigorously slimy performance as Fortunato, a pretentious wine connoisseur who ends up sleeping with Herringbone’s wife, the gorgeous Annabel (played by the gorgeous Joyce Jameson); the scene where Herringbone and Fortunato have a wine taste-off is, in and of itself, worth owning the film…if not this entire box set. Though “The Black Cat” inspires quite a few chuckles, “The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar” leads one to believe that Corman prefers to leave his viewers screaming rather than laughing. Here, Price plays the title character, a dying man who decides to provide a mesmerist by the name of Carmichael (Rathbone) with the opportunity of a lifetime: to hypnotize him at the moment of his death, to see if his passing can be prolonged via hypnotic suggestion. The experiment proves only half-successful; Valdemar remains in a half-dead / half-alive state, where his body is gone but his mind lives on, trapped within the lifeless vessel. Valdemar’s wife, Helen (Deborah Paget), and his longtime friend, Dr. Elliot James, demand that Carmichael release his subject, but Carmichael refuses, calling it the opportunity of a lifetime, providing him with the chance to find out what lies beyond this plane of existence. (You will not be shocked to discover that Carmichael soon gets the chance to learn about it first hand.) Rathbone is good and evil in his role, and Price’s ghostly voiceover is suitably spooky, making for a nice and creepy finale to three consistently enjoyable scares. Filed under: Movies and Movie DVDs and Actors and Actresses and Reviews and Horror Movies and External Entertainment and External Movies and External Movie DVDs and Scare of the Day Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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I gotta tell you, I haven’t a clue how long this has been sitting around my office, waiting to be reviewed; worse, my wife watched it when it first got here, and she can’t remember how long ago that was. The best I can offer you is that it was originally released on October 3, 2006, so we’re almost certainly looking at an entire year…and while I realize that I should feel embarrassed about the fact that it’s been loitering around here for so long, the best defense I have is that it’s a Sci-Fi Channel original film, and, statistically, those things are generally best left unwatched.
In the case of “Voodoo Moon,” I’ll at least say this: it’s a far cry from being the worst Sci-Fi Channel original film that I’ve ever seen. In fact, at times, it feels like a cross between “Fallen” (the Denzel Washington flick which probably blew most of its budget just to license The Rolling Stones’ “Time Is On My Side”) and “The Crow,” though the latter comparison probably only comes into play because the film’s lead, Eric Mabius (”Resident Evil”), walks around wearing a long black trenchcoat for the majority of the movie. Mabius plays Cole, who basically spends his life practicing voodoo and hunting demons, one of which - a dark fellow named Daniel (Rik Young) - keeps popping back into our realm when he’s not wanted. Daniel’s been a thorn in Cole’s side for years, growing stronger each time he returns, and, now, he’s back for a final battle. To draw as much strength as possible, Cole draws together a group of folks he’s helped over the years, and they’re more than willing to step up and help him defeat Daniel. Also in the mix is Cole’s sister, Heather, played by Charisma Carpenter; it’s pretty clear that Carpenter didn’t have to stretch much to play this role, which has her reacting to things in much the same way she did when she played Cordelia Chase on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel.” John Amos (”Good Times”) plays a biker buddy of Cole’s, and there are also appearances from horror flick stalwarts like Dee Wallace Stone and Jeffrey Combs. Amos is great, but that’s also probably the least surprising revelation about the film, given that he’s usually entertaining in any role; Combs, however, is part of the most entertaining subplot of the film, playing one of Cole’s cronies who gets killed on his way to assist him but refuses to let little things like death or rigor mortis get in the way of doing his part. Young is pretty entertaining with his portrayal of the evil Daniel, too: As with any Sci-Fi Channel flick, there are plenty of moments which will inspire you to yell at the screen because of their stupidity, but Jenn - my wife and my regular “Scare of the Day” viewing companion - became very vocal about her issues with a small moment in the movie. It occurred when Heather stepped into the hallway of the hotel where she and Cole were staying, only to get immediately stabbed in the leg with a fork by an old woman who’d been possessed by Daniel. Heather’s reaction was basically, “Ow, that hurt,” taking it pretty much in stride when Cole yanked out the fork. “Oh, my God!” yelled Jenn. “You would so NOT act like you’ve just gotten a slap on the leg if you’d been stabbed by a fork!” This really, really bothered my wife. Later in the film, Heather accidentally cuts herself on a broken glass and barely holds it together, at which point Jenn yelled, “Suck it up! You took a fork in the leg…and I know that hurt worse than that!” I won’t waste your time or mine by regaling you with the other fork-related references made throughout the course of these 89 minutes, but suffice it to say that the issue was still going strong even as I was typing this paragraph. The special effects range from the not-bad to the outrageously-crappy, with the battle royale between Cole and Daniel falling somewhere in-between the two poles, but probably the most annoying thing about “Voodoo Moon” is that it’s one of those movies where you’re always aware that there’s a good idea getting the shit kicked out of it by poor execution. The character of Cole is actually a rather interesting one, particularly the idea of a demon hunter who has a team of people he’s saved working with him (it reminds me of “The Shadow”), but the concept is wasted here. Oh, well. It’s not like I had high expectations, anyway. Filed under: Movies and Movie DVDs and Actors and Actresses and Reviews and Horror Movies and External Entertainment and External Movies and External Movie DVDs and Scare of the Day Comments: 1 Comment Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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Damn you, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez! Damn you all to Hell! I love those guys, don’t get me wrong, but it’s because of their “Grindhouse” flick that I received a couple of DVDs from BCI / Eclipse, each of which features two of the sort of exploitation films from the ‘70s and ‘80s that served as stylistic inspiration for “Planet Terror” and “Death Proof.” When I got them, I mistakenly thought that I might actually enjoy watching these old-school flicks and at least appreciate their kitsch value…and when I saw these descriptions, I thought, “This is Scare of the Day material if I’ve ever seen it.”
Black Candles: Carol and her boyfriend, Paul, travel to England after the unexpected death of her brother. Once there, she finds out her sister-in-law is involved in a satanic cult, and she finds out that Paul is being drawn into the cult. Evil Eye: Peter Crane is having nightmares about murdering someone. His psychiatrist, Doctor Stone, has him hospitalized for being unable to differentiate between dream and reality. Soon, people start turning up dead at the hospital. Is Peter really a killer, or is there something more sinister afoot? I…I don’t even know what to say about “Black Candles,” except that, despite the suggestion that this story is predominantly about a satanic cult, that aspect is quickly forgotten in the midst of more softcore sex scenes than you’d find on your average Saturday night on Skinemax. There’s oral sex, mutual masturbation, man on top, woman on top, orgies with not-terribly-attractive participants, guy on girl, girl on girl, girl on goat…and, yes, you read that right. A woman has sex with a freaking goat. I mean, you don’t really see anything, thank God, but let me assure you that it’s still no less disconcerting when she shifts from “ow, that hurts” into the unbridled throes of pleasure. In fact, I was reaching for the remote when the camera suddenly focused on the goat’s eyes, and the look made me laugh out loud. It was, like, “Dude, what the fuck?” (Yes, it’s confirmed: the idea of bestiality is just as weird for the beasts as it is for us.) In between all of this sex, you’re left with a movie that’d be perfect if The Playboy Channel ever decided to do its own version of “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” with bad foreign dialogue dubbed into bad English dialogue. Once you take the goat out of the equation, the only remotely scary moment during the first hour of the film occurs when a face unexpectedly appears in a window, which is pretty pitiful for a movie about a satanic cult. Mind you, ten minutes before the movie ends, we do get a thoroughly revolting sequence where a greasy fat man gets a sword shoved right up the ol’ poop chute, but it’s hardly a moment that you’d describe as a saving grace. When the movie ends with the revelation that all of its events were just a dream, your only wish will be that you could say the same. Then again, I should’ve known this thing was going to suck just based on the fact that its original Spanish title literally translated into “The Sex Rites of the Devil”; anyone who wastes a perfect good title like that by changing it to “Black Candles” clearly doesn’t know the first thing about quality motion pictures. On the flip side of the coin, “Evil Eye” is extremely entertaining…though, okay, it’s as much for the wrong reasons as for the right ones. There are some highly disconcerting moments here…and not the having-sex-with-a-goat-kind, but some legitimately creepy stuff. Unfortunately, there are also moments which are so awful that I’m still tempted to declare it to be one of the best bad movies I’ve seen in years. Frankly, it earned that honor with one line, then permanently secured it with another…but I’ll get to those in a moment. As noted above, the film’s premise revolves around a rich playboy named Peter Crane (Jorge Rivero) who keeps having nightmares about having murdered people. Director Mario Siciliano, who was also responsible for “Happy Sex,” “Erotic Family,” and “Orgasmo Non-Stop,” somehow manages to resist his baser instincts and avoid incorporating too many sex scenes into the proceedings, even scoring several legitimately creepy moments over the course of the film’s 90+ minutes, but it’s the dialogue that dooms “Evil Eye.” Blame the melodramatic dubbing into English if you wish, but the lines themselves are the real killer here, such as when Peter complaints to his psychiatrist (played by Robert Conte, a.k.a. Don Brizio in “The Godfather”) that he’s having awful dreams. When he’s asked if he takes drugs, he snaps back, “No way, I don’t like that crap…unless you count whiskey and tobacco as drugs.” My personal favorite amongst the film’s many completely surreal lines comes via this conversation, where Peter’s longtime paramour meets his psychiatrist’s lovely partner. Tanya: Who’s the lady? Um, what? “Evil Eye” is definitely a must-see film…as in, “You must see just how bad the dialogue is.” But unlike “Black Candles,” at least you won’t feel like you need a shower after watching it. I should mention, though, that the DVD offers the full “grindhouse” experience by providing the original trailers for other films in the series, and while I can’t say they necessarily look any better, they were enough of a hoot that I almost wanted to check them out. Almost. Filed under: Movies and Movie DVDs and Actors and Actresses and Reviews and Horror Movies and External Entertainment and External Movies and External Movie DVDs and Scare of the Day Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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Movies based on Stephen King novels and short stories are a dime a dozen, but it’s pretty well documented that King’s track record for his adaptation has never been spectacular, and it’s only gotten worse in the years since he’s starting embracing television. After watching “Sometimes They Come Back,” however, one wonders why he opted to make it a TV move rather than a theatrical release; it’s actually one of the better films to have been based on one of his works. Tim Matheson plays Jim Norman, an idealistic young teacher who returns to his hometown after a several-year absence – now with a wife (Brooke Adams) and son (Robert Hy Gorman) in tow – in order to teach at the local high school. The reason for his departure is an ominous one: his older brother was stabbed to death by a group of local hooligans, who promptly got their just desserts by having their car be hit by an oncoming train while they were still inside. Now, he’s back in town, but being older and wiser doesn’t mean isn’t still haunted by the events of his past…and we do mean that literally.
The second he’s back in town, Jim begins to find himself flashing back to the day of his brother Wayne’s death, and it only get worse when it turns out that the ghosts of the punks who killed Wayne have found their way back to town and into his classroom. They’re “up from Milford,” as they put it, and to make room for themselves in the class, they have to kill other students; unfortunately, no-one seems to see their death car, as it were, except for the victims and, naturally, Jim himself. It’s a horrifying situation for Jim, and it gets worse as the local law enforcement begin to suspect him in the deaths of his students; eventually, he realizes that the only way out of the situation is to confront the demons head on. “Sometimes They Come Back” is an enjoyable flick that keeps the suspense level pretty high throughout, but it’s also the kind of film that’s best appreciated when one turns their mind off and simply accepts the premise. Otherwise, you’ll be asking questions about the consistency of the ghost’s rules…like, say, why they can be seen when they’re in the classroom but not when they’re tooling down the highway in their muscle car. Just don’t worry about it; just be creeped out. But, y’know, honestly, I’m not entirely sure why “Sometimes They Come Back” has suddenly gotten a reissue; it might look better than it did in its previous release, but it certainly doesn’t have anything in the way of special features. Still, if you’re a King fan and this one’s flown under your radar for all these years, you might as well enjoy a version that looks pristine. Just stay away from the two sequels, which have precious little to do with either the original film or, indeed, anything King has ever written.
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This feels like a complete cheat of a Scare of the Day, but yesterday was a long damned day, and, frankly, I went for the shortest thing in my pile that was even remotely appropriate to the concept: a screener of the new Starz documentary, “Bloodsucking Cinema,” which - shocker! - offers up an hour-long history of the vampire as portrayed in motion pictures. (Given the title, I’m sure you in no way saw the subject matter coming.)
Unfortunately, the first reaction that the documentary is likely to inspire is the realization that there have been a lot…a LOT…of not-great vampire movies in recent years. It’s all but a universal truth that flicks like 1922’s “Nosferatu the Vampire,” with its uber-creepy performance from Max Schreck as the title character, and Tod Browning’s 1931 version of “Dracula,” which proved to be the defining moment of Bela Lugosi’s career (not to mention the albatross around his neck for the majority of his life), are all-time vampire classics. Unfortunately, it’s not like any of the principals from those movies are still among the living to discuss their experiences…but, hey, Uwe Boll and Kristanna Loken are chomping at the bit to chat about “BloodRayne”! Same with Len Weisman and the “Underworld” flicks, Stephen Sommers and “Van Helsing,” and Stuart Townsend and “Queen of the Damned.” Not exactly on the same level, is it? On the flip side of the coin, though, the conversations with Cheech Marin reminded me that it’s been too long since I last saw “From Dusk ‘Til Dawn,” and the interview segments with John Carpenter and John Landis and the clips from their respective vampire films - “Vampires” and “Innocent Blood” - made me think that I should give those flicks another chance, that maybe they’re better than I remember them. (In particular, the moments I saw of James Woods’ performance in “Vampires” during the special made me wonder why the film doesn’t stand out for me; he seemed to be having a ball, and yet I can’t for the life of me recall a thing about the flick, even though I know I’ve seen it.) I’m still not convinced, however, that watching Francis Ford Coppola’s “Dracula” again from start to finish wouldn’t leaving me feeling like a week had gone by, but, dammit, I was almost tricked into thinking otherwise. It was also nice to see Joel Schumacher reminiscing about “The Lost Boys,” though seeing Corey Haim only served to remind me how awful “The Two Coreys” was, and as a comic geek, I took great enjoyment in seeing an on-screen interview with Marv Wolfman, co-creator of “Blade.” (Oh, yeah, and writer / director David Goyer shows up to discuss those films as well.) To give credit where credit is due, however, “Bloodsucking Cinema” does offer a bigger-picture view of the vampire film, even if its talking heads tend to represent sub-par examples of the genre. It does indeed stretch all the way back to “Nosferatu,” then moves forward, stopping long enough to speak of Lugosi, Christopher Lee’s portrayal of Dracula in the Hammer Studios films, the underrated Mexican vampire films which served to inspire “From Dusk ‘Til Dawn,” and even offers brief mentions of comedies like “Once Bitten” and Mel Brooks’ “Dracula: Dead and Loving It.” The differences in the vampire mythos from film to film are compared and contrasted, and by the end of the special, things have gotten downright philosophical, with Carpenter musing about how he would deal with the curse of eternal life. “Bloodsucking Cinema” actually premiered on Friday night, but it’s being re-run on Halloween night at 9:00 PM EST. I know, it’s hard to accept that anything involving clips from “BloodRayne” is worth seeing, but this is worth catching. It’s certainly not all-inclusive (what, no “Blacula”?), but given the financial limitations inherent in cross-studio clip borrowing, they do they best they can, and the results are quite enjoyable. Filed under: TV and Actors and Actresses and Documentaries and External TV and Scare of the Day Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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Good evening, and welcome to the sixth and final entry in an ongoing series within “Scare of the Day.” Wait, let me guess: you didn’t even know I was doing an ongoing series, did you?
Well, there’s no reason you should, really, unless you’re really observant and noticed a recurring logo within the artwork of the last several films I’ve tackled, but Warner Brothers recently released a six-disc box set of horror films entitled The Twisted Terror Collection, and today’s the last of the bunch. It’s a strange mish-mosh of selections, with no seeming rhyme or reason aside from the fact that they’re all horror flicks, but if you like horror flicks, it’s a pretty good deal: individually, they hover in the $13 range, but you can get all six for under $38. So, anyway, tonight’s the night when we finally get to the sixth and final film with the set. We’re worked our way through “Deadly Friend,” “From Beyond The Grave,” “Eyes of a Stranger,” “Dr. Giggles,” and “Someone’s Watching Me” (see what I mean about how disparate they are), and, now, it’s time to get to the flick that I intentionally kept ‘til last, just so I’d have something to look forward to: “The Hand,” starring Michael Caine and written and directed by Oliver Stone.
If you’re anything like my fellow contributor David Medsker, this is the point where you say, with legitimate shock, “Oliver Stone did ‘The Hand’?” Yes, he did. And in case you think I’m trying to pull a surprise ending on you, yes, it’s the Oliver Stone, the same one who directed “J.F.K.,” “The Doors,” “Talk Radio,” “Platoon,” blah blah blah. But at this point, he had a decidedly shorter resume, having only directed one previous film (1974’s “Seizure”), but he had written an Academy Award-winning screenplay (“Midnight Express”), which was apparently enough to get him the gig on “The Hand.” Based on The Lizard’s Tail, the novel by Marc Brandell, “The Hand” stars Caine as comic strip writer and artist Jon Lansdale. He’s doing pretty well on the business end of things, but his personal life is another story; he’s got a cute little daughter (Mara Hobel, who soon scored cult film immortality by playing Christina Crawford in “Mommie Dearest”), but his relationship with his wife is strained at best, and…well, hell, you don’t give a good God-damn about his marital woes, do you? Of course not. You just want to know about the disembodied hand that goes around strangling people, which is just as it should be. I mean, I saw this movie when I was 12 years old, the reason I remember it so vividly ain’t because of the back-and-forth dialogue between husband and wife; it’s because you don’t forget the sight of a hand scuttling across the ground like a freaking spider! On the whole, “The Hand” isn’t nearly as scary as my memories would’ve had me believe, mostly because I’ve seen a lot of movies in the interim. Back then, I was so focused on the hand that I couldn’t fully appreciate back the fun of Michael Caine’s bug-eyed performance in the film, which he gradually takes so delightfully over the top that, by the end, you’re more likely to be cackling than shivering. That’s not to say that there aren’t some scares here, though. In fact, we’re only about six minutes into the proceedings when we get our first jump-out-of-your-seat moment, courtesy of a cat leaping and yowling into a shot…but it’s more than just a cheap scare. Stone’s already set the scene and shown us that the cat’s there; the big reason it proves so shocking is less to do with the feline and more to do with the fact that, only moments earlier, Lansdale has been cutting wood with an axe…which means that the audience, who already knows that he’s destined to lose a hand at some point, find itself wondering, “Is this how it happens? With an axe…?” Well, no, actually, it isn’t. But since we’re already distracted by the mere possibility, we forget about the cat in the scene, and, voila, a simple scare becomes more profound than it otherwise might have been. (The cat ends up shocking us again later, resulting in my wife jumping, then grumbling, “Stupid goddamned cat.” I immediately seconded her emotion.) When Lansdale finally does lose his hand…well, I can’t speak as to how medically accurate it is, with the ungodly amounts of blood spurting everywhere, but it certainly feels like there’s more blood than is actually necessary. Then again, his hand has just been completely ripped from his arm at the wrist, so maybe that’s just me wanting to believe that it should’ve been less bloody. However you feel about the gore, though, one thing that’s undeniable is that the choreography of that scene is the definitive moment within “The Hand” that’ll make you go, “Yep, even back then, Oliver Stone was already a hell of a director.” With the loss of a hand, specifically his drawing hand, Lansdale’s life as a cartoonist is effectively ended, and his marriage is already hanging by a thread, so it’s no wonder that he begins a descent into depression…but is it a descent into madness as well? He begins to dream that his hand, which was MIA after the car accident which severed it, is still out there somewhere…and crawling towards him. (There’s a very fun scene when Lansdale goes to search the field where the hand should’ve landed and we’re treated to camera work which effectively provides us with a “hand’s-eye view.”) As the film progresses, we’re left uncertain as to whether he’s been dreaming or not…and if you haven’t actually seen it, this is definitely one that I won’t spoil for you. The score by James Horner is suitably creepy, but there’s something very amusing about the scene where a slightly-crazed Caine is cruising down the road whilst cranking Blondie’s “Union City Blue” on the car stereo. (Don’t tell me Stone wasn’t aware of the lyric, “Power, passion plays a double hand.”) It’s also worth noting that “The Hand” is the only selection within the Twisted Terror Collection to feature audio commentary; Stone himself sits down and discusses the experience of making the movie and, as with most of his commentary tracks, it’s almost as entertaining as the film itself, in particular because he admits outright that he hasn’t seen it in years…not unlike myself. “The Hand” is an enjoyable blend of drama and horror, with the occasional bit of humor to lighten the mood; it might not be as scary as I’d remembered it, but thanks to the team of Caine and Stone, it proves entertaining nonetheless. Filed under: Movies and Movie DVDs and Actors and Actresses and Reviews and Horror Movies and External Entertainment and External Movies and External Movie DVDs and Scare of the Day Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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My wife was absolutely dumbfounded when I told her that I’d managed to spend 37 years on this planet without ever having seen Wes Craven’s “Deadly Friend,” but it’s true. In fact, not only had I never seen it, but I didn’t even know the first thing about it; it didn’t ring even the slightest bell when she gave me a one-line synopsis – teenage whiz kid uses his knowledge of robotics to try and bring his dead girlfriend back to life – and given that that’s the kind of plot that would’ve immediately grabbed the attention of the complete geek that I was in 1986, I really don’t know how I possibly could’ve missed it. Now that I’ve finally seen it, though, I wish I had seen it back then; unfortunately, I say that because, at times, it feels far more like a historical artifact than a horror film.
Okay, so you’ve got a rough idea what the movie’s about, but here’s how the box text spells it out: “Lonely teenage genius Paul (Matthew Laborteaux), a specialist in brain research, has two best friends: his remarkable robot BB and the beautiful girl next door (Kristy Swanson). When tragedy strikes both his friends, he desperately tries to save them both by pushing technology beyond its mortal limits into a terrifying new realm. Like a modern-day Dr. Frankenstein, Paul discovers too late that he has created a rampaging monster.” As “Deadly Friend” begins, you’re introduced to BB the Robot, and all I could think about was Number Five in “Short Circuit.” Or the Ro-Boz from “Riptide.” Or, y’know, pretty much any big-ass, non-streamlined robot from the ‘80s. BB’s got a wacky voice that sounds a little bit like Gizmo the Mogwai, which comes courtesy of Charles Fleischer (he also voiced Roger Rabbit), and we’re given the impression from the get-go that he’s on the verge of outgrowing his programming, which means that we won’t be surprised if he suddenly kills someone. That turns out to be a red herring, though…as is the suspicion that when Samantha (Swanson) finally meets her doom, Paul’s gonna somehow transfer her brain into BB. Alas, the poor robot gets shot all to hell by the neighborhood crazy lady, Elvira Parker – played by Anne Ramsey, who fit this role into her schedule between her roles in “The Goonies” and “Throw Mama from the Train” – but there’s definitely a Frankenstein element to the tale when, after Sam’s abusive father pushes her down the stairs and she breaks her neck, Paul takes BB’s chip and puts it into her brain in order to bring her back to life…and since I’m sure you were wondering, why, yes, things do go horribly awry! For the most part, “Deadly Friend” plays like your average teenage flick, which is due in no small part to the decidedly average acting of Laborteaux, who’s forced to carry the film whenever Swanson isn’t around but is rather less than enthralling as a big-screen presence. As for his co-star, she’s charming and cute during her scenes prior to her death, but for the rest of the film, she’s forced to stalk around silently, wearing really dark eyeshadow to remind us that she’s only one step above corpsedom. (Good thing she’s got expressive eyes!) It’s the interesting premise that keeps us watching, though, along with curiosity about how it’ll be resolved; unfortunately, the film goes on for about two minutes longer than it should have, tacking on what may be the dumbest ending of any ’80s movie ever. Seriously, I was just left sputtering. In fact, here’s an exact transcript: “But…but…there wasn’t…it couldn’t have…she wasn’t…oh, God, that’s fucking dumb!” Of course, even in one of his lesser films, Wes Craven still manages to produce two death scenes that made the film worth seeing. • Sam bends her father’s hand back, throws him against the boiler in the basement, and snaps his neck like the proverbial twig…and when Paul finally discovers them, Sam’s got her father’s body lying so that his head is lying inside the boiler, where it’s just smoking and sizzling away amongst the flames. Mmm-mmm, nothing smells loving like Daddy’s head in the oven… • When Sam breaks into Elvira Parker’s house to extract her revenge and to get back the basketball Parker swiped, Sam kills two birds with one stone by throwing the ball so hard at Elvira’s head that it fucking explodes. Okay, okay, don’t twist my arm, here’s the YouTube clip of the latter: So now I can scratch “Deadly Friend” off my list of ’80s Movies I’ve Never Seen…and, in an odd moment of serendipity, I can also finally scratch “basketball” off my list of Things I’ve Seen People Killed By In Movies. Wow, this is the best Thursday ever! Filed under: Movies and Movie DVDs and Actors and Actresses and Reviews and Horror Movies and External Entertainment and External Movies and External Movie DVDs and Scare of the Day Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
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Amicus Productions often sat in the shadow of its better known countryman, Hammer Studios, but horror film aficionados will concede without hesitation that both firms provided the world with plenty of hours of chills, screams, and general creepiness, often even utilizing the same actors. (In particular, Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee proved to be familiar faces in both camps.) If there’s one thing that Amicus tended to specialize in over Hammer, however, it was in the field of horror anthologies, offering up classics like “Doctor Terror’s House of Horrors,” “Asylum,” “Tales from the Crypt,” “The Vault of Horror” a.k.a. “Tales from the Crypt II,” and…wait for it…“From Beyond the Grave.”
Yes, I’m well aware that, given that the title of the film was listed right in the title of the posting, that wasn’t exactly the most shocking reveal. But it felt right, dammit. British horror films from the late 1960s and early 1970s are almost always a joy to watch, if only because…and I’ve said this before, but I know others who agree with my theory as well…there’s something about a British accent that makes even the most preposterous dialogue sound like the God’s honest truth. Additionally, the Brits have always had a dark and nasty streak to their humor, which invariably shows up within the short and sweet tales of these anthologies. There are four tales within “From Beyond the Grave”: “The Gate Crasher,” “An Act of Kindness,” “The Elemental,” and “The Door.” Each story has been taken from author Ronald Chetwynd-Hayes’ 1971 collection of short stories entitled “The Unbidden.” The foursome are all interlinked via an antique shop which is curated by none other than Grand Moff Tarkin himself, Peter Cushing; in most cases, the reason for the characters to enter the shop is at best only tangentially related to their tale, but it hardly matters, since it’s mostly just fun to see the pale-as-a-corpse Cushing shuffle around the shop, sneaking up on his customers and asking them if he can help them find anything. “From Beyond the Grave” stars David Warner as Edward Charlton, a man who tricks Cushing into selling him an antique mirror at a highly discounted price by claiming it to be a fake; perhaps unsurprisingly, however, Edward gets his just desserts when the mirror turns out to be inhabited by an evil spirit who need fresh blood in order to get his strength up and escape his confinement. During a séance, the spirit possesses Edward and soon sends him out on a nightly basis to bring him another sacrifice, and as a bonus, he has Edward do the actual slaying for him as well; the conclusion is predictable, but Warner’s increased anxiety as the segment progresses makes it worth watching ‘til the bitter end. “The Gate Crasher,” which follows, is probably the most enjoyable of the four segments for several reasons. For one, there’s the cast, which features Donald Pleasance, Angela Pleasance (yes, she’s his daughter, both in real life and in the film), and Ian Bannen, a husband who’s forever henpecked by his wife, played by the voluptuous Diana Dors; for another, however, it offers a legitimately unexpected conclusion and a darkly funny closing line from Mr. Pleasance. (Unrelated sidebar: many Americans aren’t aware of Diana Dors, but Anglophile music fans may recognize her from appearances on The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and The Smiths’ Singles, which is how I came to know her name. What I didn’t know until very recently, however, was the story of her secret fortune and how it reports remains hidden somewhere out there, just waiting to be found by the person who can crack the code she left behind before her death in 1984.) “The Elemental,” which stars Ian Carmichael as a man with something decidedly larger than a chip on his shoulder, will make fans of the “Harry Potter” films laugh out loud, as Margaret Leighton plays a spiritualist who will instantly remind them of Emma Thompson’s take on Professor Trelawney; indeed, the similarity is so profound that you can’t help but draw the connection. Lastly, “The Door” features Ian Ogilvy and Lesley-Anne Down as a young couple who find that their new residence has an unfortunate connection with the late Sir Michael Sinclair, who’d prefer not to be quite so late any longer. The film comes to a conclusion by returning to Cushing and giving him a few moments to shine, presumably in a scene unique to the movie (i.e. not something composed by Chetwynd-Hayes), but it probably isn’t much of a spoiler to suggest that when he’s accosted by a gentleman who intends to rob the shop, something rather untoward occurs to the would-be thief. Immediately thereafter, he addresses the camera directly: “Aye, customers, come in, come in; I’m sure I have the very thing to tempt you. Lots of bargains, all tastes catered for…oh, and a big novelty surprise comes with every purchase. Do come in, any time. I’m always open.” It’s an offer you can’t resist, really. Filed under: Movies and Movie DVDs and Actors and Actresses and Reviews and Horror Movies and External Entertainment and External Movies and External Movie DVDs and Scare of the Day Comments: None Digg this! Add to Del.icio.us |
