Hell’s Kitchen: two much again

I’m not sure if the people who run Fox are just running out of shows, or if they are trying to speed up the season of “Hell’s Kitchen” so that its finale airs before the fall shows begin. But two hours of this show on a Tuesday night is just too much, or, should we say, two much. Still, I have committed to covering the show, so here is how it went down last night….

EPISODE 1

Last week ended with Scott and Autumn switching teams. Scott then declared that he would no longer try to “help” his teammates, but focus more on the actual “team” concept. Yeah, right. Scott looks to me like a duck that quacks like a duck.

The first challenge was a bit daunting…there were little pigs running around and Gordon Ramsay sharpening knives, with the perception he would make the chefs butcher these poor little things. But no, he just had them chase the pigs and grab a paper necklace off of them that would represent a cut of pork, as well as an ingredient that would complement it. They would then break into teams of two and face off, red team vs. blue team. Just as I said out loud to Mrs. Mike that there are no bad cuts of pork, Nilka wound up with blood sausage, and prunes for her other ingredient. Blech!!! Anyway, she was beat by the blue team’s pork loin with baby bok choy. Holli’s tenderloin with sweet and sour apples beat out the bacon with honey slaw; and the blue team’s pork loin chop with pinto beans beat Maria’s sweet potato soup with ham hock, a dish that failed to use the hock as the main ingredient. So the blue team won, again.

The red team had to give the pigs a bath, literally, dressed in farm clothes…and the blue team got to writhe in mud too…at a spa. Of course, the producers used the opportunity to show off Autumn in a bikini and the guys were all practically drooling. Then back at the dorms before dinner service, Salvatore was playing talk show host and got Holli to talk about her porn collection and Siobhan to talk about her escapades at fetish balls, where she sometimes dresses in only body paint. Um, I think I speak for everyone reading this right now…EWWWWWWWWW.

The dinner service would be the first ever barbecue in Hell’s Kitchen, but Nilka got her team off to a bad start when she began pre-frying chicken. Anyway, with the restaurant being over-booked, Ramsay decided to have two seatings….the red team would cook and the blue team would serve, and then vice versa. Menu items included smoked ribs, kobe beef burger and crab hushpuppies. Yum! Fran and Nilka were arguing and the red team just couldn’t get it together at all. Scot burned chicken, and Siobhan couldn’t cook burgers enough. Ramsay had seen enough, and shut down the kitchen.

The red team also failed in the front of the house, with Maria not being able to manage orders at all. Ramsay got in Jason’s face for burning chicken, and in the end he declared the night the worst service in this season’s short history. But the losing team by far was the red team. Fran was the best of the worst and got to nominate two teammates for elimination. She chose Maria and Nilka, prompting immediate rage from Nilka. I think her motive was to pick someone Ramsay wouldn’t eliminate so that he’d send Maria home, but Ramsay didn’t appreciate it and neither did Nilka. He asked Scott to also step forward and told Nilka to get back in line. But then he sent Maria home, and thankfully we don’t have to hear her babbling mouth anymore.

EPISODE 2

This episode began with Ramsay having the chefs name the five mother sauces in the culinary world–hollandaise, tomato, demi-glace, bechamel and veloute. They would then have to grab an ingredient from a table that also had 20 other ingredients, and use what they had to make a dish in 45 minutes, without using any ingredient twice. They would then face off as individuals to earn points as a team. The judges would be Ramsay’s mom and wife.

Fran beat Sal, who undercooked pasta; Siobhan and Jay both failed; Ed beat Holli; Nilka barely beat Jason, and Ben beat Scott. It was a draw, but Ramsay gave the blue team the nod because Jason’s dish was so good but not as good as Nilka’s. The red team got to clean the kitchen, and the blue team got to hang out at an English pub that Ramsay frequents when homesick. The blue team also all won a set of pots and pans. Meanwhile, while cleaning , Siobhan claimed to be allergic to cleaning supplies, and broke out in hives.

At dinner service, it was family night, which meant many kid-friendly items like fish sticks and fries. Sal was not listening well and Nilka forgot to put lobster in the lobster risotto. Fran overcooked scallops and Scott was not cooking beef wellingtons enough. Finally, Ramsay told the red team to get out of the kitchen, and sous chefs Scott and Andi finished along with Ramsay himself. The blue team, meanwhile, was once again a well-oiled machine. So Ramsay asked the red team to choose two consensus chefs for elimination. They went with Scott and Fran, but Fran clearly disagreed with her nomination. So did Ramsay, who also asked Siobhan to step forward. He then eliminated Scott, after hearing again how great he was and blah blah blah. None of us wanted to hear it either, so it was the right choice. More doing, less talking, Scott.

But Ramsay said he wasn’t done, and sent Ben to the red team to even things out. He asked Ben to fill a leadership role that had been missing from the red team so far.

So that’s it…we’re barreling along and we’re only a few weeks in. I’m liking Nilka, Ben, Jay and Ed as possible contenders. What do you think? Let me know, and we’ll see you back here next week…

  

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