Season Pass Deleted: “V”

Truthfully, I stuck with this series longer than I should have, probably due to the presence of Elizabeth Mitchell (“Lost”) and Morena Baccarin (“Firefly”). But I just can’t sit through another episode. The overacting, the plot holes, the general lack of excitement — three strikes and you’re out.

This week’s episode — “Hearts and Minds” — was confounding. First of all, is it just me, or are television shows using the opening scene-then-flashback device way too much? I know there’s a rule in screenwriting that says a movie/episode should “start with an event” but it seems like every time I turn on the TV, some familiar character is in a weird situation and then five minutes later I get to start to see how he got there. I think this is fine in small doses, but it becomes a crutch when used too much.


In this episode, we see Ryan, Father Jack, and Kyle blow up a shuttle that was supposed to be filled with “seekers.” After they shoot it down with some advanced V technology that looks like it was cobbled together with items from the local Wal-Mart, Father Jack starts running through the wreckage to find that there are only human remains. Uh-oh. Now we’re going to spend the rest of the episode wishing they wouldn’t make the decisions they’re about to make. That’s fun.

After an awkward scene where Father Jack flirts with Erica over a punching bag — I’m sorry, but I just can’t see Catholic priests as sexual beings — Ryan tells the gang that the seekers are coming and he knows where the shuttle is going to land. Just to underline the importance of this mission, he says that if the seekers land, it’s the end of the Fifth Column. Uh-oh.

It was at this point that I deleted my season pass. If the seekers were so powerful, why didn’t Anna send them down before, or send down two or three or even ten shuttles to ensure some of them made it to the surface? If she’s apparently putting all of her eggs in one basket, why wouldn’t these nitwits figure out that this is probably a trap?

Part of the problem is that I’ve seen this story before when it originally aired in the ’80s. I know remakes/reboots/rewhatevers are all the rage, but was anyone really clamoring for more “V”? I’m a fan of sci-fi, and with “Battlestar Galactica” now over, I feel compelled to support sci-fi where I can. But “V’ just doesn’t cut it. I mentioned “BG” — now that’s how you do a reboot. “V” just pales in comparison.

The main problem is that I didn’t really care about any of these characters, save for maybe Erica, but even she refuses to tell her son the truth about the visitors even though he’s about to move up to the freaking mothership! Father Jack runs around like an impotent ninny, wondering about the spiritual ramifications of every little thing he or anyone around him does. Ryan lied to his girlfriend the entire time they were together, even after she got pregnant with his alien child. Chad Decker is a narcissistic talking head who would betray his own planet if it meant he got an exclusive.

It almost got to the point where I started rooting for the visitors.

So long, “V” — I wish I could say it was nice knowing ya.


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