So this thing is heating up. Last night on “American Idol” it was the Final Five performing, with the great Neil Diamond as mentor. But as Simon Cowell suggested, it was one of the strangest shows ever, and that’s mainly because each performer had to sing two selections, and the judges had very little air time. Need I say that this was a formula for Paula imploding on national TV? And that’s basically what happened, though she did rebound. More on that in a bit.

I like the more meat, less B.S. that a condensed “Idol” offered. And it was entertaining to see how they would do it. Ryan Seacrest was talking like he had a plane to catch, and the judges were able to give a brief reaction after each performer sang once, and then a full critique after their second song. You gotta love less Paula in any way, shape or form. Without further adieu, here is the recap and prediction for who is going home….

THE GOOD

David Cook, what can we say? The dude manages to have some element of surprise each week, and yet keeps proving that he is the one to beat with that monster voice of his. And it struck me last night who he reminds me of…a young Bryan Adams. Hey, don’t laugh, Adams was way cool before he went all Don Juan DeMarco on us. So David sang two more obscure Diamond songs, “I’m Alive” and “All I Really Need Is You.” The low notes were pitchy in the first song and it was all-around kind of bland for David. But the second song showed why this guy is going to win it all. I mean, holy crap. Randy said that David once again rocked the house, Paula said she thinks she is looking at the next American Idol (for a change she said something smart), and Simon said the first song was above average but the second song was “brilliant.” Pretty much.

THE IN-BETWEEN

I have to get this off my chest. David Archuleta really impressed me early on, especially when he did that Phil Collins tune while playing piano, showing he has the ability to weave melodies and make them his own. But he’s turned into the human version of a Disney character, someone who is already going to be a product of the overproduced world of pop music. Folks, he’s not going to win. I don’t even care what the judges said last night, David’s versions of “Sweet Caroline” and “America” were bland and hokey. Randy said David is “in the zone,” Paula said he made the perfect song choice with “America,” and Simon added that the first song was amateurish and the second track was a “clever” choice, ala Kristy Lee Cook singing “God Bless the USA.”

Syesha Mercado sang “Hello Again” and “Thank The Lord For The Night Time.” Syesha has a nice voice but there is something lacking, and that something is star potential. She was pitchy in spots, but overall I thought she did a pretty good job last night and will stick around one more week. Randy said it was nice and also that she is “in the zone,” Paula said Syesha showed a vulnerable side (whatever), and Simon said Syesha seemed a bit old-fashioned and like an “actress/singer,” adding that she could be in trouble. With just five remaining, you can’t really argue with Simon.

Brooke White saved herself with the second song, but her first song was no better than what you might see in a karaoke bar. Brooke sang “I’m a Believer” and “I Am I Said.” Randy even said the first song was “karaoke” and Simon was not as nice, calling it a “nightmare.” But Brooke delivered while playing the piano on Song 2, and I think did so enough to last another week. Randy said it was a nice job, Paula used the word “vulnerable” again (whatever), and Simon said the second song was the “Brooke we like.” Exactly.

THE BAD

Jason Castro sang “Forever In Blue Jeans” and “September Morn,” but unfortunately he did nothing with them other than stay true to the song. And this guy is no Neil Diamond. I really think there is no way this guy makes it out of Wednesday on the show. Randy said both songs were just okay, and Paula had one of the most embarassing moments on national TV ever, when she said the first song was okay, but the second song was “a little empty.” Problem was, Jason had NOT SUNG THE SECOND SONG YET. Yikes. But somehow, she held it together, and Simon even came to her rescue, saying “Who do you like the best?” Simon, meanwhile, called both of Jason’s performances “forgettable” and added that “we don’t recognize you now.” Indeed, Jason is trying to coast and you just can’t do that now. Sing your butt off or go home.

So there you have it. If they do a Bottom 2 this week I’m going with Jason and Syesha. I think America loves something about Brooke more than they do about Syesha. But that won’t matter because Jason is headed home where he can pick up his ukelele and sing Brudda Iz songs until the sun goes down. And in two years, we’ll all remember the name but not the face. Sad, but true.

Anyway, see you all tomorrow with the actual results….