I know I may live to regret this, but….

* If “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” is not the #1 movie this weekend, I’ll eat William Shatner’s toupee. This latest, strongly reviewed, entry from the Judd Apatow hit factory is pretty much made for a weekend like this. It’s got what appears to be more than enough raunch to entice males as well as sufficient romantic appeal to lure female moviegoers — and everyone likes to laugh. With great buzz and a some very funny trailers, I don’t see how this one loses.

Even if its star and screenwriter, Jason Segel, isn’t the most well known or charismatic member of the Apatow clan, he’s a familiar face from his popular sitcom, “How I Met Your Mother.” It’s also got “Superbad” boy Jonah Hill, “That 70’s Show” star and frequent “Robot Chicken” voice Mila Kunis, and, most of all, Kristin Bell, of “Heroes” and “Veronica Mars.” Bell is both enormously versatile, extremely funny, and one of the most talented young actresses working. She is also enormously hot in a bikini. Having her in the title role can’t be a bad thing.

On the other hand, Variety indicates I’d better start figuring out what brand of beer best washes down a thirty year old toupee, because apparently “Marshall” isn’t “tracking” all that amazingly well, which would scare me if I understood what “tracking” actually meant. (Blogger Jedboy tried to explain it awhile back, which basically comes down to a way to quantify the unquantifiable thing we call “buzz” — it frankly sounds like a lot of overpriced hocus pocus to me, but then I’m sort of genetically predisposed to hate this stuff.)

Maybe straight males are scared of having to look out at Jason Segel’s genitalia for an entire scene. It’s funny how guys who don’t mind watching people being hideously tortured for an hour at a time run screaming from the thought of looking at a penis, but there you go. Also, of course, the fact that this film is ranking as the most well-reviewed Apatow flick since “Superbad” means absolutely nothing because, you know, quality means absolutely nothing. And, of course, the R-rated comedy will have some strong, PG-13 competition from our next intriguing entry. I’m starting to worry.

*”The Forbidden Kingdom” is, in international terms, the biggest cinematic summit meeting since Pacino and De Niro had the ultimate filmic power lunch in “Heat.” Martial arts superstars Jackie Chan and Jet Li are both getting older and therefore, like all athletes, less capable than before of the sort of stunning feats of astonishing grace and agility that they both exhibited back when they were mostly making their best Cantonese language extravaganzas. Teaming them is a canny means of compensating for that problem commercially and should work well enough to make the film very profitable internationally. Though it’s getting somewhat mixed reviews, the fight scenes are reportedly strong and the scenes around it at least somewhat engaging — which is all the fans really demand. “The Forbidden Kingdom” is certain to do very well, but I still think that R-rated laughs still have a broader appeal than even PG-13 martial arts, but then I’m not paying attention to the mighty power of tracking.

*Whatever happens, I think we can safely assume that the new Al Pacino thriller, “88 Minutes” will be enormously lucky to come in a poor third and will likely land much lower down in the top ten. Pacino’s fans are largely the kind of old fogies who might actually pay attention to reviews, and with a dismal 11% “Fresh” rating and word that it was apparently held back for some time, this one really smells like a giant size turkey and is providing fodder for critics’ quipping skills, never a good sign. On the other hand, one of the very few critics to like it, and especially Pacino’s performance, is the venerable Andrew Sarris, so that should be a salve to the egos of Mr. Pacino and director Jon Avnet, if not to the nerves of studio accountants.

Meanwhile in Indiewood….Several pictures that almost define the term “off kilter” open in limited release this weekend, including two poorly reviewed comedy docs coming from different ends of the political spectrum. “Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed,” featuring conservative op-ed writer turned dead-pan movie comic Ben Stein making an argument that there is an academic conspiracy against so-called intelligent design, has so far scored only scored one positive review on the RT Meter. Where are those titans of right-leaning movie criticism, Michael Medved, Kyle Smith, and Box-Office MoJo’s egregious Scott Holleran, when you need them? No doubt hoping to get at least some of the dollars that fundies have been holding back since the release of “The Passion of the Christ,” this comedy documentary is opening in over a thousand theaters, apparently hoping for Michael Moore numbers on its first weekend. Stein can be funny, but I don’t see this making “Sicko” money.

Meanwhile, Morgan “Super Size Me” Spurlock’s new film made a thud on the festival circuit and with most critics. There’s no reason to expect much at the 102 theaters it’s opening in, but the title “Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?” has some innate interest and our own Jason Zingale had a few nice things to say about it.

And finally, just because we are who we are here at Premium Hollywood, I must mention “Zombie Strippers” which at least has gotten some decent reviews and stars Robert “Freddy Kruger” Englund and Jenna “Porn Star” Jameson. Guys like zombies; guys like strippers; guys like Freddy; guys like porn stars. There would seem to be a market.