Here’s where the words “‘Heroes’ fan’” and “dirty old man” meet on the flow chart: while watching this video preview of Hayden Panitierre’s photo shoot for an upcoming issue of GQ.

Frankly, it sounds more like it’s for Maxim, given the accompanying quote:

“Well, if you want to make me a lesbian, that’s totally fine with me. That would be a pretty funny rumour. I’d love to have a love affair with Angelina. And there are other beautiful girls I like too - Charlize Theron, oh my God! Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous too, and Jessica Alba.”

Stop it. Stop thinking about it right now. It’s wrong, dammit. And if I can’t do it, then neither can you.