 Talk about art imitating blog. Last week, after trying to sift through the ashes of the most needlessly circuitous plot in TV history, I said, “None of this makes sense.” Tonight, as Senator Roark is processing the seriousness of Russian President Suvarov’s threat to attack the Americans for willingly allowing Russian technology to fall into the hands of the Russians, Roark said, yep, “None of this makes sense.” At last, we are all in agreement. As for Farmer Hoggett’s relationship with the Chinese, well, to quote the Hives, hate to say I told you so, all right. Cheng praised Hoggett as a man of vision, and Hoggett loves China so much that he plans to steal his grandson and live there forever and ever. I’d say that makes them allies, wouldn’t you? Well, until (a clearly deaf) Cheng loses Jack Jack, and Hoggett kills the deal to hand over the Russian component. Gotta give Hoggett credit: he has the negotiation skills of a Corleone. Or maybe Mel Gibson’s character in “Payback.” “My money, yes or no?” “No!” Bang. So back to the blog’s title. Lisa Miller’s attempt to schmooze her lobbyist spy of a paramour ends poorly of course, and her boy toy chokes her until she’s unconscious. Another coma? Are you kidding me? How many is that over the course of the show? Maura Tierney, Tony Almeida, Wheelbarrow Wayne twice…wasn’t Robocop in one for a while last year? Does anyone know four people that have fallen into comas? I was only sort of kidding when I called this show “Dynasty of Terror” a while back. It really is becoming a full fledged soap opera. Is Audrey Raines really gone from the show? Or is she merely gone for now, only to be brought back stunt-style next season, a la Kim Bauer last year? And as one of our astute readers pointed out, they never explained how Big Dick Heller survived that header into the Pacific from a quarter mile above the surface. But these guys are good at not explaining stuff, aren’t they? The Palmer family may as well not even exist at this point, and the fallout from this morning’s nuclear explosion doesn’t seem to be affecting anything at all. Got a plot thread that needs to be temporarily resolved? Put it in a coma. As Eric Cartman would say, this is totally weak. Indeed, this has gone from weak to super weak. Did I see an oil rig as the site of the big showdown for next week’s two-hour season finale? An oil rig? What the hell is Cheng doing on an oil rig? And besides, didn’t “Alias” do that a couple years ago? Speaking of “Alias,” what happened to “Drive”? My beloved Amy Acker was on both shows, and we at Bullz-Eye are all big, big fans of “Drive” hero Nathan Fillion. Hey, here’s an idea: make Fillion the villain – the only villain – for next season. He usually plays the plucky hero, but fans of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” will tell you that he can play a baddie just as well as he can play a goodie. Create some kind of Bruce Willis/Alan Rickman dynamic between him and Kiefer, and you’ll save the show. Oh, and if any “24” writers are reading this, you should know that our fearless leader is a lawyer, and he will fight for a story credit. Just thought I’d warn you in advance.
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Call this episode Race to tie up Plotlines, sponsored by You Must Suspend Disbelief.
Love how Suburov treats Roark. It is like his 16 year old daughter begging to stay out late with any lie she can muster and him just shooting her down at every turn. The VP of Mean is his bitch, no doubt.
Nadia, all 97 pounds of hotness that she is, left to disarm a Chinese terrorist, unarmed of course, and she does it! We will call this the 22nd hour effect. No matter how unplausible, if it is towards the end of the day, it will work.
My favorite moment of the episode, Morris gently laying a jacket over Milo’s face. Was actually very touching.
You guys have been right, this season has sucked ass. They may as well not make a DVD of it, I know I wouldn’t buy it.
Let’s get this nonsense over next week and move on with our lives.
maybe you guys just forgot that tv shows arent exactly meant to be the most REAL THING ever…you know it all…suspending disbelief is what makes action TV shows, this isn’t a reality show.
After rereading last week’s “house of cards” blog, I still get the feeling that you were insinuating that Farmer Hoggett had been working with the Chinese from hour one, and while it’s clear he loves China, I just don’t think that’s the case. Cheng was in a bind with the card and called up his “visionary” acquaintance for some assistance. Based on how things turned out, it’s pretty clear they don’t have a Dwight/Angela working relationship. It’s more like a Michael/Pam working relationship.
My favorite moment this week was when Jack disarmed the mercenary leader and “broke” his neck. I’m sorry, but my chiropractor twists harder than that.
I still don’t get the reasoning behind the Russian offensive, but like you and the VP said, this doesn’t make any sense.
Lastly, when is it going to come out that Jack Jack is really Jack’s kid?
Honestly, I can’t wait to put this season to bed.
Nice Smiths reference.
Here we go again…comparing realistic drama to reality TV…grrr…
Graeme admitted earlier in the day that Farmer Hoggett and he turned Jack over to the Chinese(had to have been with Prez Logan’s help). I have to agree with JP on the connection with Hoggett and Cheng.
Buchanon sighting next week, according to the previews. Must be Jack needs an ally, or a room to crach like Wayne last season…
Rumor has it that Audrey will be seen in the last hour.
Driven has been cancelled, but Fox plans to air those episodes already “in the can”.
While I will admit that this season has been the worst, yes, even worse than Day 2, the show is still better than a lot of drivel out there.
They did explain last season that Heller survived the fall - they just didn’t dwell on it.
I think we all agreed that there was some sort of working relationship between Hoggett and the Chinese, but there’s no way they planned all of this nonsense.
This was yet another hour of…absolutely nothing. Jack rescues Jack-Jack but Cheng gets away. Lisa Miller crawls into her spy buddy’s bed and then later smacks him in the head with a wine bottle AND a lamp, but it’s all for naught since the Russian Prez knew exactly what was going on. So what the hell was the point of that whole set-up anyway? It’s like the writers had three hours of material this season and had to figure out a way to stretch it over 24 hours.
Two moments I think deserved mention: the first was Tom’s reaction when Lisa and her traitor boy toy finally wrapped up their…um…interaction, and the second was watching Morris try to take down the third terrorist. He was hanging onto his back for dear life while Jack strangled (and, yes, then broke the neck of) his guy and Nadia somehow held her guy off long enough for the Ricker to save the day. And yet, they showed Nadia’s guy get shot but they never showed what happened to Morris. I half expected to see him around the corner still hanging on to the guy’s back while everyone else went back to work. “Um…a little help, darling?”
So the main question now is, what’s going to be the Big Twist next week? You know they’re going to try to wow us. Who’s the traitor? Who’s going to die? Who gives a shit?
All of us that pay attention to the blog must at least give a shit, otherwise, we would have dropped out…
Yes, Heller being ok was briefly discussed in the last hour last season. “Just a flesh wound”…
While the end of this day can’t save the season, it may give hope for the next “day”…
There’s no need to grrrrr at people. Nobody is comparing reality t.v. to realistic drama (wait…The Bachelor is the realistic drama one, right?!?
), we are just saying that if the show were truly realistic it would likely be pretty boring. I agree that smart writing is a much better alternative then some of the crazy crap they have pulled this season, but nonetheless I am entertained. If you are not, then there are plenty of other ways to spend your time.
Now, no one commented about The Ricker being groomed to take Jack’s place. Is there any way that could happen and it not be the end of the show? Keifer Sutherland said once in an interview that not even he was safe in this show. How much longer can they have Jack do this kind of stuff without him having some kind of major mental breakdown?
I’m not asking “24″ to be as realistic as “Sleeper Cell,” “The Shield” or even “Battlestar Galactica” (all very realistic & entertaining shows) and I realize that I have to forgo some realism for the real-time concept to work. But this season has been pretty ridiculous, and not because of the real-time aspect.
I don’t agree that realistic = boring. Those shows I mentioned (and others) are quite a bit more compelling because I’m not constantly distracted by how silly they are.
I was grrrrr’ing at the concept that realistic drama automatically becomes a reality tv. That’s absurd.
No fighting on my blog. Or if you’re going to fight, at least make it entertaining for the rest of us.
Grrrr.
While it is quite possible that the Ricker can be the “chosen one” to follow Jack, we really don’t know enough about him yet to invest our time in him. With Jack, we got to see the family first and go from there.
That being said, the show has been renewed for 2 more seasons, which matches Kiefer’s Fox contract.