 The producers of “24” are masters at misdirection. And I don’t mean misdirection in terms of twisting the plot in a way that you wouldn’t expect, but in their ability to keep you so enthralled with the events at hand that you never take the time to think: hey, where did half the cast go? Unless you’re me, anyway. Don’t get me wrong: I’ve been enjoying this season of “24” more than any other, by a country mile. But let’s do a quick rundown of the characters that have conveniently disappeared for at least two episodes now: - Vice President Leland Palmer This, after Mike Novick disappeared for about four hours earlier in the season. Surely, each one of these characters has a role to play. When are they going to play it? And what exactly will that role be? Are they all taking a much-needed nap? The answers to those questions intrigue me more than the events at hand, the whole ‘Sutherlands on a Plane’ thing. But at least they ended the episode exploring the option that occurred to me the second that Bauer boarded the plane: shoot the damn thing down. It solves every problem. Bauer’s dead, the recording is destroyed, everybody’s happy. Yes, it looks extremely suspicious to everyone else, but the public doesn’t know squat about the day’s events, and the government won’t move an inch without concrete evidence against I.M. Weasel, which is why they fucking better examine the other thing about this plot thread that’s driving our astute readers nuts: play the Goddamn recording so someone else can tape it. This has gone on way too long. Someone, anyone, should have multiple copies of this by now. Hell, CTU should have uploaded it to Limewire and Kazaa for the world to hear by this time, since God knows that’s what someone would have done with a recording of a phone call that Tupac Shakur had with his gardener about how to prune the azaleas. (Note: I am merely speculating on the existence of such a recording. Surely, if such a thing existed, Death Row Records – excuse me, Tha Row – would have put it to a beat and released it as a single. They need the money.) Forgive me, but I just started geeking out over how sweet it would be if the producers decided to use one of those p2p sites as CTU’s salvation. Of course, they won’t, since Fox owns a movie studio and copying movies is akin to raping your children in the eyes of the Hollywood elite. Still, some indie movie’s gonna use that plot device, and I’m going to laugh my ass off when they do. We got a small glimpse at President I.M. Weasel’s old fraidy-cat self this week, when Novick was pushing him to give Marty some more drugs. He instantly went into “Buck buck brawwwwwk” mode, but calmed down once he knew what the shot was (“Glengarry Glen Ross,” holla). Suddenly, doping up his wife and giving Novick some cock and bull story about his marriage being a shambles solved a lot of problems. Of course, we’ll see how he feels about that decision when Marty overdoses. Are we all in agreement that that is not an if, but a when? So anyway, the co-pilot is carrying the recording. Pretty smart, since it puts a locked door between Jack and the bad guy. Of course, Jack finds a way around that – I loved the bit where the one passenger thought he’d go all “United 93” on Bauer, only to nearly get his head blown off – and now they have to find a way to land the plane without getting blown out of the sky. Should be interesting. Last but not least, mega super monster props to my girl Chloe for doing precisely what I thought she’d do with the drunk letch at the hotel bar. I didn’t want to ruin the moment for Buffybot, but as soon as I saw him, I knew that he would hit on Chloe, and I knew that Chloe would taser him…twice. It all went down exactly how I envisioned it, and it was bee-yoo-tee-ful. If I didn’t worry about Chloe cutting my dick off in my sleep, I’d marry her.
|
Ahhhh, good old Chloe. Everyone loves a chick with a Taser.
This week’s You Must Suspend Disbelief moment, Jack elbowing the Air Marshall and knocking him out. Rolled the eyes on that one. Speaking of missing characters, shouldn’t we have seen Audrey and Curtis back at CTU by now? Regretfully, Jack did not have the chance to torture the guy he pulled down into the luggage department, darn it.
Shooting the plane down didn’t occur to me until Dr. Romano mentioned it. I guess my mind isn’t quite as dastardly as yours, Mike. Shooting the plane down seems awfully messy. I was thinking they’d try to capture Bauer after the plane landed, especially considering his reluctance to play the recording over the phone so Chloe can record it and upload it to Limewire, though she’d have to put the words “porn,” “boobs” and “doggie” in the title to get anyone to download it.
I’m not sure that just anyone can access the luggage hold through the flight attendant’s cabin. It seems like it would be real easy to check some weapons and go retrieve them during the flight. But, alas, that is not this week’s “You Must Suspend Disbelief” moment…that honor goes to:
Jack Bauer asking the Air Marshal if he can sit in the seat next to him. Mind you, it was a middle seat, and conveniently, there was no one sitting on the aisle seat. The only way an Air Marshal allows Jack, or anyone for that matter, to sit in the middle seat is if he’s trying to hook up. Based upon the “I can’t believe my homosexuality got me into this situation” look that the Air Marshal gave Jack after he was moved down to the luggage hold, it is a distinct possibility.
Those darned homosexuals…but, y’know, that whole gay schtick always seems to lead to wacky hijinks…
LOL! You think the marshal was hitting on Jack? That might be the funniest thing in your entire piece.
As for Giantgary’s comment about Jack whacking the marshal, did you see Red Eye? Jack’s move was downright subtle compared to what Cillian Murphy does to Rachel McAdams in that movie.
I don’t think the marshal was hitting on Jack. But that’s the only thing that could explain his allowing Jack to sit in the middle seat when the aisle seat was open.
Good point by Giantgary - how long does it take Curtis and Audrey to get back to CTU? Haven’t we learned that no two points in the show are more than a 20 minute drive apart?
I love the Tupac and Death Row references. The tape thing is driving me crazy as well. They can upload massive satelite files in an instant but a simple audio recording is impossible!
Please stop saying the Vice Presidents last name is Palmer, it’s GARDNER
Didn’t watch Twin Peaks, did ya, Anonymous? I’m not saying Palmer instead of Gardner by accident. Every character here has a nickname for a reason. Google ‘Leland Palmer,’ and see what you find.
Mike, remember saying:
“This whole Palmer/Palmer thing is getting confusing”
Maybe you should just call him Gardner.
Explodey? Have we a Ren & Stimpy fan in the house?
I do indeed remember saying that. But I’m sticking with Leland Palmer. What’s the fun in calling him by his real name? Besides, Wayne Palmer doesn’t look like he’s going to show up until the season finale, anyway. How about this: from now on, Wayne Palmer is Principal Wood. That should please the Whedonites out there.
This is all supposed to be in good fun, people. Let’s not get too serious here. It’s just a blog.
I’m wating for Kim and Pony Boy to return.
thank you for your work